Nostalgia...

We were visiting family in the country over the weekend - my parents, sister, her boyfriend and I. As we were driving from house to house we were exchanging stories, mostly for my sister's boyfriends benefit, about this and that. Dad told us about when his brother had to swerve off the road to avoid back-ending someone who stopped suddenly and how the 4 of them in the car ended up totalling their car in the pond off the side of the road, but no one ended up with even a scratch....I remember hearing that story but could have sworn it was just my dad and his brother driving at the time
I was flooded with memories of other stories he'd told and other memories from visiting when we were younger. Grandma and Grandpa used to have a small farm with tons of acreage where we would romp and roam with the farm dog when we were younger. We'd explore the back ponds and climb trees and make snow forts and capture small frogs before setting them free at the end of the day (yes, I was the grimy kid who carried frogs around in her pocket all day).
My sis told a couple stories that were a little different than how I remembered them. It's funny how time can change memories. I started to wonder if it was me (very likely) or her (also possible) who were remembering them different than they had happened, or both. I tend to have a bad memory at the best of times, but there are certain memories I play over in my mind every so often so as to engrain them in my brain. She mentioned a couple of things I hadn't thought of it in so long, and the vague trigger in the back of my mind to resurface some old, good times was a pleasant thing. More memories for me! There are lots of good times I intentionally hold on to by keeping them fresh.
As I'm due to be westbound shortly, I took time while we were driving to try to absorb the little details of the area that was such a major part of my childhood and growing up. I'm not sure how long it will be before I have such a leisurely visit again. The smell of the breeze coming off the ponds. The clop-clop of the horses hooves as they came over to greet us at the barn. The way my aunt's brand new 3-week old filly was already completely competent and learning to use her twiggy little legs to buck and tramp around in play, chewing at my rubber boots. The way the friendly little barn cats rub at your legs, desperate for attention, mewing hoarsely. The country folk and their pickup trucks. The old men with beer bellies milling around the only pub in town. The feeling of familiarity when surrounded by blood...those that have known me since I was a small bump in my mother's tummy.
I tried to really memorize all the wrinkles in my Grandma's face, tried to burn it exactly as it is now, into my memory. I try not to be too sappy but there are big changes upcoming in my life, exciting and scary. It really makes a person think.
I don't really know what the next year of my life will hold. A lot of penny pinching, a lot of new discoveries, a lot of adventure and hope. I just needed to get some thoughts down, for now I must be going.
Here's to the unknown, to being young and beginning to carve out your path in life, to taking the road less travelled.
Cheers.

Always remember your first...

Blogging. It's an interesting concept to me. A window into your life that you provide to complete strangers as well as people you consider friends - or anyone, really. Things people might never talk about in person, or in regular conversation, get spilled out as html type in cyberspace. It's a funny thing. This is my first, and I'm not sure how much I may keep up with it. Could also be my last, but we'll see.
This is an interesting time for me. A couple of months until I graduate (again, but with honours finally) and there are large-and-in-charge decisions that need to be made. I've had a bit of a confused, whirlwind of a time during my post-secondary education. Said confusion stems from the ever-present indecisiveness that rules my life. For the first time, I've set my sights on a potential career. The problem is that I'm all out of sorts due to the fact that I feel like I've decided but have to wait another month and a half before hearing back about the job. And by job I mean 3 month internship as a marine mammal trainer at the Vancouver Aquarium. Getting it would mean a direction, for once, that will help mitigate the rest of my life. Not getting it puts my back at square one, where I feel like I was 2 years ago. Sigh.
Other options include applying for job after job at conservation groups like the Nature Conservancy of Canada and the World Wildlife Fund. Ack. I know I sound like any other graduate who is not 100% sure what their game plan is. Perhaps whinier than others, but hey, that's where I'm at so take it or leave it.
For now I'm going to wait it out a little bit and see if I get a call back in mid-March about the trainer internship.
I don't want to go on and on about this, I think I'm just gonna close out for now until I have something more interesting to write about. The last couple weeks, though, all I can think about is what's going to happen in the next couple of months. Once I sort that out things will continue to go along smoothly.
Training animals...it's something I can see myself doing forever. Especially the ones most people have given up on already. I'm good at it already, there is always more to learn, always room to grow, always room to advance....sounds like my kind of job. I'm just afraid of ending up on some cookie-cutter path that I'll end up hating. I've always felt like I'd do something different with my life, and if I can embark on a path that will fulfill me, that's all I can really ask for.
This hasn't been that concise, not sure how I feel about it, but I was just writing from the heart with what's been on my brain. :)
That's all for now, mystery readers.
Tailwags,
KR